Description
My PhD is in performance psychology. Five years studying habits, behavior change, and what actually makes change stick.
Here's one of the most important things I learned.
Stopping a behavior is harder than starting a new one.
We focus on what we need to quit. Stop being controlling. Stop hovering. Stop being a doormat.
But if all you're doing is stopping, there's nothing to replace it with. No direction. No motivation. Just the constant effort of not doing the thing you've always done.
That's why stopping has to be paired with starting.
You are the only part of your marriage you can control right now. So give yourself something to run toward.
Start working on your PIES. Physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual.
It's a lot easier to stay motivated when you're building something than when you're just trying to stop something.
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