Description
This was the hardest thing I've ever had to write, it wasn't SAWFT. I would stop and yell at God and ask him why I'm writing this song. I would break down. Ball out, wipe my eyes, and go in the gym that I've been procrastinating. Tony Hinchcliffe once handed me a book and told me to read it. I had never read a book before in my life.
It was the first book I ever read. Steven King's "On Writing." Steven King spoke about getting everything he ever wanted, but he found himself in his basement in a dark dwelling writing all of the things that hit different, that resonated with people. It wasn't up at his oak desk with the view looking at the mountains that he wrote things that came from the heart. Throughout my career, all the best things I've ever written have come as I procrastinated getting into the gym. I would sit out in front of the gym. Uncomfortable in a car. I've written countless promos, bits, scripts, and songs the same way. I put myself in a very precarious position when I wrote this song not realizing it. I was very uncomfortable. I was writing in uncomfortable places. And just at the moment where I would say to myself, “It's time to get in the gym! You've been sitting in the parking lot for hours… What are you doing?!” Balling out, tears streaming screaming to God, screaming Windham's name, I had nowhere to go. And so l ran. I got on the treadmill and my demons chased me. Running became my new drug. Demons chased me, my thoughts would break me, but my Angels carried me. When you're running in place your mind travels. I've compartmentalized deep pain over the years. But there's nowhere to run when you're running. I always thought the place I called home, where I learned how to live, because I can certainly only say at this point, Wrestling is my life, I would get back to that place. I would get there and the first person to greet me, “Pop” for me would be Windham. Sometimes it's hard to believe that you have a greater calling when you know the passion for life that once filled the hearts of those that are no longer with you. It can make it very hard to believe in yourself. But I can say in my heart that I believe, Windham wanted me to write this song. The song speaks to him, because lord knows, I was crying out to him while writing it. And I felt him. Windham, Roman, Sasha, there was a time where an entire locker room pushed me to make my music. They jokingly played my music that no one else in the world could hear in the locker room, they bumped to it and they laughed. Those were great times. I hope one day that wrestlers all over realize I am just one of them. But I was there for some of the greatest times. I was blessed to be. And I am the one, of all of em, that could tell it. Who else? Who lived it? Who was there? Who is there to tell these stories? I am a storyteller. Music is story’s. And the stories that mean the most to me, well, they might've already passed. And that's OK. Because I have plenty to sing about. I hope you all take the time to listen to my music. Wrestling fans, Thank you for supporting me, supporting us, you have no idea how incredible the dreams you’ve made come true truly are. If you have similar dreams.. I hope you chase them. And if demons are chasing you, I pray they never catch you, steady pace. If you run long enough that dream will surely tire out, and you’ll catch that mother fucker. If you catch it, I hope I get to catch you living it and see you down the road. Remember, every wrestler started out a wrestling fan.