Description
Time, slow down…
You know, I also have traumas. I’m not perfect:) my biggest trauma is…
Time.
Time which is merciless. I remember when I first realized it.
When I was 11. In a room with my parents and a chocolate bar we shared together. Happy moment, yes.
And I suddenly felt that they are passing… right now. I felt I’m on the edge of a pen writing the story of life. And it’s moving. Leaving this happy moment behind … and the future is not written yet but we - me in the edge of the Pen and the Pen - are writing right now…
It broke my heart. Funny to imagine an 11 year old being so much shocked by it…. Yes, but it was my trauma.
At 11,I even invented a theory how stupid the time to hold or return the happy moments. I wrote a manuscript in a copybook which reflected the best days with dates and years and a system explaining that they will return…
I became older and the life of a young dancing girl with bright disco lights seemed to turn the page of a strange philosophical sufferings of a teenage who I used to be.
But only for a while.
Little I knew that the biggest heartbreak will come when I’ll become a mom. Very quickly i realised that these sweet moments with kids are the shortest I could imagine. I mean no, I’m happy they are growing and changing and moving forward so fast. But….
Sometimes. I hate time. I hate it passing. Want to invent a machine which will keep the moment for me to come into it when I miss it. Not a photo. Not a video. A room. A room for a while. Back to 2018 when we first got our Bullterrier Basya home,a tiny puppy,and laughed all together sitting on the carpet…
Back to 2020 when we all played boarding games during Covid at the same carpet and bigger Basya jumped in it. And we happily laughed again. Sima was 12… Sima was 5…. Luka was not here yet.
Back to 2021 when we first ever tried skiing all family. How happily we talked in the evenings in our hotel and each of us told his impressions from the mountain top…
Back to 2022 when Luka was born and how tiny he was…
Back to 2023 when we had the most incredible Danish summer we could ever imagine. All together.
Back to 2024 when we all watched eldest son Dima skating.2025
Sand heals me.