New Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0e0PeEEyc2Zn0ejv-cPeVQ
Comments disabled because people will jump to conclusions without hearing what I have to say and overall fear of rejection or another incident like early 2018 due to relapsing :(((
IMPORTANT!
I wasn’t in a good state recording this so I’m sorry if I said anything rude or ignorant; I know people here care about me and want the best for me and support me and I really do appreciate it. It does make me feel a lot better when people comment and let me know how much they love my content and respect me. I think it was a couple recent comments and the overall downfall of my channel that made me relapse. But I still want to move.
WHY?
I don’t want to be known for what I was in 2017 but that’s what I feel like I’m going down as. YouTube won’t stop recommending it to people despite it being my absolute worst content and something I’d wanna forget.
“Why don’t you unlist/delete them?”
I have a bit of a hoarding problem I suppose you could say and it makes up a huge part of my channel and I’m worried about regret and backlash. Plus, I like to see my growth and I know others do too.
This channel also demotivates me..it’s just too much. It’s overwhelming, a reminder of trauma, certain people, those I’ve disappointed, how much I’ve screwed up and all the series I’ve cancelled and people I’ve let down. It’s so much weight on me and I’m sick of disappointing people.
“We’re not disappointed, we respect your choices!”
And I appreciate it. But in a way I’m disappointing MYSELF with the constant cancellations and things I create. I need to stop making content I know I won’t like making but it’s so difficult when there are standards to live up to. People to impress. I need a fresh start, where I can be small and have just a small group/community, like how it used to be..
WHAT NEXT?
You may continue calling me Allison or LPSAllisonTV. It’s not like the name reminds me of bad things, just the channel itself I suppose. Though I still love my 2015, 2016, and 2019 content, the rest is full of awful memories that I need to escape. I need to start fresh and be rid of my disappointment and mistakes. I don’t know how else to do it. I’m worried it’ll all sound like I want popularity or fame, or people will think it’s all excuses, and maybe it is excuses I’m making for myself so I can finally catch a break. But I feel like I need this and I need to move on somehow.
I DONT HATE LPSALLISONTV AND I DONT HATE THIS CHANNEL. It was actually hard to let go of...I feel like I’m killing someone by doing this. But I’m not sure how else to help myself heal. Continue calling me LPSAllisonTV if you like. You can still think of me that way :)))
All content will be on StrawGlicks from now on! I will continue Fabulous Fables there and make an introduction soon.